Purgatory

by Kristen Tivey

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05:53
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01:03
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02:22
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05:03
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03:48

credits

released November 23, 2019

recorded/mixed/mastered by matthew soares

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

Kristen Tivey New York, New York

Kristen Tivey is a singer-songwriter from Cape Cod, Massachusetts. She lives in Brooklyn now.

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Track Name: Purgatory
i'm red rocks and white water
my father's only daughter
i've been to church and i've been to jail
both walls were white sanctuary and cell

and is one heaven if the other's hell
am i permanently in purgatory and if so, how can i tell

now i'm living in gay paris
and there's a lot of nice people and a lot of nice things to see
what about those two men who i watch fall asleep
on my street with their hands on empty bottles of whisky

are we in heaven, are we in hell
are we permanently in purgatory and if so, how can we tell

she's a fountain spilling over
extravagant show-goer
hanging out with trains blowing cigarette smoke
trying hard not to choke, you're a joke, you're a joke, you're a joke.

sorry boy but you've been had,
she's a scab, she's a scab, she's a scab
and the more attention you pay to the irritation
the more she's bound to come back

and she is heaven and she is hell
and i'm permanently in purgatory and she is,
she's how i tell
Track Name: Front Porch Song
i am on the front porch, i hear through the screen door
you talking to somebody i don't care for
and yes i will admit i started drinking a bit early
i'm surprised to find it's only 8:30

but i'm watching the sun go down
thinking about how i'll miss you when you're not around
i'm watching the sun go down
thinking about how i'll miss you when you're not around

won't you drive through georgia the next springtime i'm there
oh i'll be the one in the rocking chair
climb on up the steps, turn around and take a seat
oh how i love the silence of you next to me

as we listen to the night time sounds
and i think about how i miss you when you're not around
as we listen to the night time sounds
and i think about how i miss you when you're not around

and it just seems a bit too much to ask you to stay
and i don't know what it is that makes me feel that way
but whenever you're gone i get a slow sinking sensation
it's the start of fall, it's the end of vacation

so tell me what can i do now
when i can't help but miss you when you're not around
so tell me what can i do now
when i can't help but miss you when you're not around

oh must i be content with this
oh must i be content with this
oh must i be content with this
oh must i be content with this

i have left these feelings unsaid for far too long
and no one knows i have reason to write this song
but whenever you're gone i get a slow sinking sensation
it's the start of fall, it's the end of vacation

so tell me what can i do now
when i can't help but miss you when you're not around
so tell me what can i do now
when i can't help but miss you when you're not around

when i can't help but miss you
when i can't help but miss you
when i can't help but miss you when you're not around
Track Name: Underground
i dug a hole and turned it upside down
sat around as the darkness fell out
i thought i would be safer underground
thought i would be safer underground

but in the dark flew seven fireflies
and they formed your face, your mouth, your nose, your eyes
and it made me feel so lonely that i cried
made me feel so lonely that i cried

i cried so much i cried myself a sea
floated out of that hole and i was free
and of all things it floated you right back to me
floated you right back to me
Track Name: Only Friend
moved to the city
thought i was on my own
that's 'cause i never ever left my home

tried to throw a party
i thought nobody would come
that's 'cause i wouldn't invite anyone

i've got it stuck inside my stupid head that i'm my only friend
i've got it stuck inside my stupid head that i'm my only friend

i don't go out
i just stay in
talking to myself again

you ask me what i've done
with my day
i tell you i slept it away

i've got it stuck inside my stupid head that i'm my only friend
i've got it stuck inside my stupid head that i'm my only friend

none of this is true
i'm just fooling myself
pretending i dont want anyone's help

gotta go outside
see what i'll find
got to get these thoughts out of my mind

i've got a billion buddies
i've got a trillion pals
i've got a couple Betty's, i've got a couple Al's

and they all put up with
my self-pitying ways
i hope they never have to hear me say

i've got it stuck inside my stupid head that i'm my only friend
i've got it stuck inside my stupid head that i'm my only friend
i've got it stuck inside my stupid head that i'm my only friend
i've got it stuck inside my stupid head that i'm my only friend
Track Name: What Does It Matter
what does it matter, i said to my lover
if i should seek out help or go undercover
i'm only one woman
and what does it matter, i said to my love

do you think i'm tough 'cause i can drink more than you
do you think i'm wrong 'cause i don't want to
do you think it's rough to break out the moonshine at half past noon
what does it matter, says the sun to the moon

what does it matter, my love says to me
if we should live or if we should cease
life's just a fantasy
and what does it matter, my love says to me

what does it matter, says the moon to the sun
if i should light up the night for anyone
i'm only one woman
and what does it matter, says the moon to the sun

what does it matter, said the moon to the sun
Track Name: Sincere
baby i've been here before
i know what a bouquet of flowers is for
this is the part where i take you back but
my shell it never cracked

some girls are made of sugar, spice,
and everything nice, everything nice
they're also made of stone and ice
and won't think twice they won't think twice

but don't they sound sincere
when the only thing you hear
is their voice sweet and clear
that's where the trouble starts dear

it wasn't love it was something else
when you told me how you felt
i'll admit i handled it wrong
but not every part of my life's in song

and now i'm finding more and more
things about me you'd ignore
how am i supposed to let down my walls
when you refuse to see my faults

I know i sound sincere
when the only thing you choose to hear
is my voice sweet and clear
that's where the trouble started dear

now i'm dragging you around
it feels like part of me is tied down
i guess it's best i got it through my head
some things are better left unsaid

i hope i sound sincere
now the only thing you hear
is my voice sweet and clear
i never meant to hurt you dear
Track Name: Hermit Crab Love Song
i am a hermit, selfish in my shell
shellfish with my armor
but you disarm me so well

and i've gathered up my things
swept the dust from out my little home
and as i clean i sing
it echoes round, i notice i'm alone
alone

in here it gets messy
and you can't see inside
and while talking with you i often wonder
what mess do you hide

but you told me that you're cleaning too
rearranging sand
grains that soothe and irritate
that come from being between sea and land
land

so take me by the claw
and don't pinch too tight
and when you're ready let me in
inside
inside

i'm coming out of my shell
translucent and ugly as hell
with all my organs on display
but you, you'll do the same

you're unarmored
i'm enamored

i was a hermit, selfish in my shell
shellfish with my armor
but you disarmed me so well

and now we look together
for bigger better homes
and the grains still soothe and irritate
but now at least we know we're not alone
alone

so take me by the claw and don't pinch too tight
and when you're ready let me in
inside
inside
Track Name: Heart Beat
if i could hear your heart beat from here
if i could feel its rhythm in my ear

well, it would calm me down
it would calm me down
calm me down

yeah it would calm me down
it would calm me down
calm me down

if i could see myself through your eyes
i'd know i could do it and wouldn't think twice

and i would figure it out
i would figure it out
figure it out

yeah i would figure it out
i would figure it out
figure it out

if i could hold myself the way you hold me
i would never go to bed lonely

and i would sleep sound
i would sleep sound
sleep sound

yeah i would sleep sound
i would sleep sound
sleep sound

i can't hear your heart beat from here
but i remember its rhythm in my ear

and it calms me down
it calms me down
calms me down

yeah it calms me down
it calms me down
calms me down

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